Despite five previous semesters of evidence to the contrary, political science student Melanie Harris thought, if only for a fleeting two weeks, that she had experienced something akin to genuine human happiness.

But upon reflection, Harris was devastated to realize that this was neither joy nor inner peace—just  the facade of bliss belonging to the add/drop period. Fortunately, her devastation won’t last long, as she knows she must quickly make room for more pressing emotions such as crippling stress, self-loathing, and existential dread.

“Here’s the thing,” Harris said, after drunk dialing The Why Intersection from SUWU happy hour. “I haven’t experienced genuine happiness since I got here. And you know what? That’s…like…that’s fine. I just gotta stop tricking myself, you know? I don’t know, at least once I graduate, this two-week period of like, denying responsibility and drowning my pseudo-happiness in alcohol until it reverts back to emptiness again will just be like…forever…so that’s not too bad I guess.”


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