In response to the news that “Goons”—those infamous wine filled plastic bags that we all know and love—will not be permitted at this year’s Orientation Week, U2 student and Frosh leader, Zach Gruffalos, has taken matters into his own hands. Engineering student by day, frat king by night, Gruffalos came up with a sneaky solution to this new rule.

“I designed a trick to hide the wine,” Gruffalos said. “You put it in your backpack and use a straw like when you go hiking, Boom Bam Bing, you’re ready to party.”

Though it may not be the most innovative invention of this time, it’s fair to say that his little trick will save beach day and surely frustrate local security.


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