If you’re reading this, it’s likely you’re feeling lost without a COVID-19 update email from the Provost Of Our Pandemics (POOP) Fabrice Labeau. Here are some ways to stay calm in these trying times.
- Refresh your email. It’s possible he sent one in the last half-second, you never know!
- Try writing your own corona-mail. It’s not that hard, remember to use vague and meaningless terms like “essential services” and “McGill is working hard to monitor the situation”
- Learn French from translating Fabrice’s emails, or as the French say, ses courriels. Comment dit-on “flattening the curve” en français?
- Walk around the McGill campus looking for Fabrice. Keep in mind that if you find him (or any other people), you should stay at least six feet away.
- Self-isolating or quarantining? Shout “Fabrice” out your window or off your balcony until he arrives. You’ll have to shout extra loud if you don’t live in Milton-Parc.