If you’re reading this, it’s likely you’re feeling lost without a COVID-19 update email from the Provost Of Our Pandemics (POOP) Fabrice Labeau. Here are some ways to stay calm in these trying times.

  1. Refresh your email. It’s possible he sent one in the last half-second, you never know!
  2. Try writing your own corona-mail. It’s not that hard, remember to use vague and meaningless terms like “essential services” and “McGill is working hard to monitor the situation”
  3. Learn French from translating Fabrice’s emails, or as the French say, ses courriels. Comment dit-on “flattening the curve” en français?
  4. Walk around the McGill campus looking for Fabrice. Keep in mind that if you find him (or any other people), you should stay at least six feet away.
  5. Self-isolating or quarantining? Shout “Fabrice” out your window or off your balcony until he arrives. You’ll have to shout extra loud if you don’t live in Milton-Parc.


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