Members of the McGill administration are seeking counselling after realizing the majority of students don’t like them.
“I just don’t know why I’m getting booed all the time,” Angela Campbell, Provost of Equity and Academic Policies said. “I mean, Big Suze literally got booed at the last senate meeting and Dean [of students, Christopher] Buddle is being dragged weekly on the McGill reddit.”
When requested for comment, Buddle replied via email:
“The memes can be really cruel…I don’t see what’s wrong with wearing red converse while being an adult man, or talking about how World War II is worse than the life of a student at McGill. 🙁
–Sent from my Android.”
While Buddle seems bummed, Campbell especially is under extra stress, as she has had to hire her sixth assistant of the academic year. Her last assistant, Vanessa Beacon, U3 Arts, was quick to comment after she was fired last week.
“All I did was ask her how she graduated from Harvard Law and doesn’t understand the risks of allowing professor-student relationships,” Beacon said. “Homegirl started crying. I only got paid $13 an hour for that. I’d rather sleep with any hockey bro named Connor from Upper Rez.”
The cherry on the cake, however, is that both Buddle and Campbell will have to join the wait lists for counselling, as all slots are full. Knowing how this goes, their appointments are scheduled for February of 2020.
“Since I can’t even get an appointment at Counselling for another 15-20 business days, I’ll be launching a specialized support group for senior-level administrators,” Campbell said. “The first topic will be dealing with white-guilt in inappropriate ways.”